With a decision to trace the point of fault, I started to rewind on the events of the day, looking for the slip point, the Achilles’ heel. That way I can then set destiny, karma and other hostages of my mystery free from suffering my blame.
The night before was a Sunday night, 11pm and I couldn’t find my log Z’s. I needed to sleep since I would have to leave very early for work the following morning. But then, my eyelids won’t befriend each other. I decided to see Casablanca but barely 15mins into the movie, I decided Casablanca won’t help since I really loved the movie and I was quoting along verbatim as I watched. So I decided to watch a few episodes of my favorite TV series, The Sopranos, a sitcom I’d been indulging in because I once had an idea to develop a Mafia Bible, not a Sicilian guide book this time but a real bible that would rather convey some of the Biblical plots in the way of the mafia families. From the luck bringing hand-washing habit of Mickey Cohen and the unfortunate Joe-the rat –Vallachi to the stories of David’s hit against Uriah and Ehud’s dagger plot on fat Eglon king of Moab, I could easily relate the stories. The work on which I had started few weeks before now with a friend named Dipo.
The next time I looked at the clock, 3am had chimed, so I decided I should get some help if I want to get to work at the right time as I had presentation to make at the morning meeting. And so I put it on my timeline on twitter for any friend to give me a call by 6:30am, which a friend Optix- the jester did. But I snoozed off after his call and when he tried again in about 40mins after, I woke up into rush-hour, and the epic began.
I dashed into the bathroom as if there was fire alarm; I had finished brushing the right part of my teeth before I suddenly noticed that the bristles were softer than usual. Urghh! My sister’s toothbrush!!! If only NEPA had had mercy, may be this would have been averted. All along I had been using a fairly lit torch from my phone to find my way.
As I reached out for my toothbrush out of frustration , I tried to turn off the faucet of running bath water at the same time. At this point, like some spooky effect, my phone slipped and fell right inside a bucket of water!!. I assuaged myself because the eruption of anger that would have followed would have had no match. I gently reached for the phone and headed for the microwave for a fast drying action. That meant I would finally have to put on the generator which was a no-no by this time. I pried the covers of the phone and kept the individual parts behind the refrigerator for heat-drying as I hoped for NEPA’s action and quick recovery of the phone. That was how I left the phone behind and by now, I was 20 minutes behind the meeting schedule.
Since my phone was lying lifeless so long as NEPA was lifeless behind the generator, my Boss could not reach me and so I wasn’t apprised of the changes in venue of the meeting with the Members of the board. After much effing and blinding in the traffic, I got to the meeting venue. I was the only one in there and even swirled around in the chair thanking God I was early.
On sitting for about thirty-five minutes with my shadow and no phone to reach or be reached, I set out to get back to the office. By now the meeting was over. While I wouldn’t love to go into the details of my Boss’ reaction I later stepped into the office, she at the end of it all told me to forward my presentation to her while I copied the rest members of the board in the mail in 3minutes. Again I dashed to my desk like the ‘Mask’ movie character.
I typed the mail using old templates, copied the officers in protocol as requested and then as I tried to attach the presentation folder, I accidentally picked the folder containing pictures of myself braiding my girlfriends hair and other weekend trips over the weekend!!!
Feeling happy that I was able to send the mail in about 5minutes, I relaxed and even asked for espresso as I leaned back in my chair with relief in my cubicle.
About an hour and fifteen minutes later, my name was flying in the air. Oblivious to what was going on, I felt my presentation had made another mark and while still thinking, my desk-phone rang and it was my boss. “Yes!”, I said, time for compliment on my wonderful ideas. I strutted into her office and even asked to use her chair. She peeped out of her half-moon spectacle and started…
“Tobi”, I answered “yes madam”, “You were served a query last week for sneaking-in and eating plantain chips from your pocket during a meeting with the Board, weren’t you?” I replied “affirmative ma”. Then she said, “Tobi, today you…”
If you are reading this piece and you really want to know what she said, just leave your e-mail while dropping your comment, will post it to you........
(and hey!,Please #lightupNigeria)
