C-River.
Touch down, Maggie Ekpo airport Calabar. Whatever happened during the 50mins flight, I just wanted to leave it behind. Serendipity went to the toilet when they were booking my ticket so I wasn’t seated in-between chics this time. Just an old Calabar man and an invalid.I Had to play the role of a gentle man, no point being unnecessarily cocky. Since I couldn’t strike any fantastic conversation with them, this mean't I wouldn’t be splitting taxi fare with anyone from the airport. I had to make use of lessons from SC101 (street cred 101): "if you would just walk out of the airport, you would get a cab to your destination at half the price ." For me it went straight from N4000 to N400 having walked with some guys for a mere 20m. It works mostly for domestic flights when you don’t have huge luggage to carry.
On my way out of the airport, I was in the company of 2 ladies who were indigenes and all of a sudden we saw a dog lunging towards us. I thought the ladies were going to melt in fear, as they appear to be crème, prim x proper, only for them to strut away in their jests. So I asked if they weren’t afraid of the wild-dog to which they reply, “this one, we would kill and eat it”. Then it dawned on me where I was.
I must confess though, the air around this area is not of this world. The air was so clean I almost fell ill, it seems my body had been so used to working with extra effort get clean air that it almost lapsed when introduced to clean air, I felt my body working on overdrive for nothing. The whiff from the clean and passing breeze was most soothing, everywhere stayed green like God actually tenders this garden(state) with his fingers. I also do believe this state is the cleanest in Nigeria, atleast that I have visited. I felt like I was going to deflower something or commit an abomination by throwing used recharge card on the ground since I could see almost 50meters radius of me clean with no single paper. It felt like some invisible forces were looking at me.
The ban on use of bikes in this state also made everywhere noiseless. No unnecessary honking could be heard anywhere so everywhere seemed to be in its most peaceful state. Good road also add props to the effect
At the bus stop, I had waited for about 20mins as each driver kept saying they dint know where I was going. I had misplaced a few letters and since everything had to do with “-bong”, I thought they all meant the same thing. Luckily I got one that knew exactly what my description was saying. I hopped in and first thing he says: “My brother, welcome to Sodom and Gomorah!!!”. To this I replied, please I don’t want anything to give me images of Sodomy. He was a nice guy and we talked. He gave me the decription of everything I could need be it church, bank, club, anything, he would be my directory. I noticed a few things though, there were too many hang outs and beer parlours all around while there was scarcity of banks and major industries. This state seems to lack industrial boom, I wonder if major investors see this place as a milk-able environment.
Got to my hotel and being very tired, finished up on some project and slept around 1am
Day 2
Fantastic place I must say, I roused into a very funny weather, everywhere was cold. I decided to go jogging and to my surprise, almost everybody in this state hit the tracks. I tell you , most of the people I met on the road were jogging. Time now was 6:30am thereabout, by now in Lagos, three quarter of the whole state would be in transit, scuffling to get to work. I was more than impressed. I dashed my sprinting more than a Kilometer and ended up in the stadium. Painfully I dint come out with my camera. A lot of men were in the stadium to play soccer before heading to the dressing room and going to their offices. There was this sight that caught my attention, recall how I said it was a cold morning and most joggers were in hoodies? I took a glance at Olympic sized pool of the stadium and therein were soldiers stripping to their swimming trunks. About 120 men from some nearby infantry I believe had come for some drilling. The weather was so cold I was wondering why I came out with no sweater and right there the men of the forces were getting ready to be filed into the pool. Not in this world, not with even a heated pool would I be found bare-chested in that weather, I couldn’t just believe it and to make matters worse, they were delayed for about 30mins, just standing in a queue while wearing just swimming trunks which are usually smaller than regular briefs. That day, my undimmed respect for the force men was refreshed and re-affirmed.
I spent the rest of the day between sleeping and working on my website (Please watch out for ilevit.com ,its gonna be awe-wait for it, wait for it-some, for those who have been looking for virtual libraries and all…shhhh).
The evening wasn’t bad at all. A friend of mine from the social networks came visiting with his friend and we went to Hope Wadell. If a Nigerian producer wants to shoot a war film or story based on 1920s- or 193- something event, this compound would serve the purpose. It is the first secondary school in Nigeria and buildings as old as 1928 can be seen. The church had the oldest pipe organ I ve ever seen it looked like the exhaust of a ship. We headed for the Museum afterward but we were late already so fresh fish and drinks was the next thing.
I retired to bed and made peace with @icyfiery , my latest online villain. Had another life-changing idea that night, I slept off thinking about how to assemble the team to work with. I was afraid of my own future that night.
The morning after wasn’t bad at all, by now I was running up bill so I needed to be careful. I had peppersoup that day, it was real peppersoup, the one I had been having in Lagos were just pepper inside soup. I also visited Marina resort, my favourite spot there was Tortuga.
Ofcourse, it totally resembled the location in The curse of the Black pearl. Totally loved the serenity of that place. So quiet the whiff from the breeze was all the noise you could hear. If your wristwatch came close to your ears, you could hear the seconds hand’s kinetics. Great spot, ocean view, trees and everything 60m below earth level. An event was to take place later that evening, it was the late Bob Marley’s birthday and some people were putting up a party, it was going to be a wild night but hey, I had my own plans.
I was running up on hotel bills so when a friend asked to show me around their clubs, I thought oh great!, a good reason to skip a night at the hotel and save some money so I went with him.
The groove was on, a few sparks here and there, some sort of old school night and a lot of people showing up moves, moon-walker and running-man everywhere, I danced for a while myself, the last time I tried old school dance like that must have been motivated by money or some prize way back in secondary school but it was great. A funny thing happened afterwards, I had barely satdown to get some oxygen after dancing when I was ushered to a VIP table with a Senator or Member of the House, not really sure again, I really dint understand what was going on, just felt he liked a few moves from the dancefloor and he just wanted to talk. Most of his friends were dancing with their ladies by now and he was asking me questions ‘bout everything from whom I was to whom I worked for, hobbies and interest and all sorts. By now you could smell the effing and blinding going on in my head from under my breath. He proceeds to dance with me which I obliged him considering he was already halfway binged and inebriated. It wouldn’t matter but then he came closer and whispered in my ear “I want to embarrass you”. If that was coming from a sane man in a king-like position, it would have meant I was made already. I had just been cabal-ized and about to become a successful and wealthyfellow,but it wasn’t coming that way. By now he was too close for comfort and his hands were starting to project in some awkward positions. I couldn’t hide my uneasiness, I had to look for a get-away plan.
I grabbed my Redbull by the table and feigned the famous phone-ringing move to lam away. I went outside and stayed on an imaginary call for about 50minutes ..lol! By now, my friend was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t go back to the hotel since I checked out, looked at the time, it was around 2am.
Back in the club, I made my way through the back couches and went for the hidden corner of the place stealthily. I wasn’t going to be caught in that web, by now his eyes were glued to an iPad on his VIP table, watching an adult movie. I answered a few mails on my blackberry and put down a few points for next article and all, by 2:30am, I could barely take it anymore, left a BB message for my friend and headed back to the hotel. Recall, I had checked out earlier, but tipping had saved me again so I was allowed to sleep on the couch Oh well, the perks of travelling alone, if I had come with ‘’entourage’’, it would have been another story.
Two hours after, I was up, I can now check in again, that way, I had skipped a night, so I ended up doing 3 nights in the hotel instead of 4. Don’t you love my street ways(besides the fact that I could have been sodomized )
So its Saturday, Tinapa it is!!!. Called up another programmer friend of mine @kehers and made plans to hook up at Tinapa. It was Valentine weekend so some couples were around, oh well, I was happy for them, except for the fact each of the guys’ moves were being checkmated by their partners. I was as free as anything, I was getting chic-phonenumbers per minute. I checked out the Tmart, this supermarket was my ideal definition of anti-chauvinism. In about 80% of the place were items strictly for ladies from cradle to the grave and just by a little corner at the entrance were a couple of shelves for the male gender. Not like I was even interested as most of their items were quite old and dust laden.
I took a few pictures and headed straight to the water parks. Oh gosh!!! You have to be here. Right there was the biggest swimming pool I had seen in my life! It was so big, there were about 25 people inside and it wasn’t even half-crowded yet. Good music and barbecue by the side, there was a Cable ride for those interested and then there was the Adrenaline jump stuff. This stuff is no joke. It isn’t for the chicken hearted. I went up the stairs the first time to take the slide but I came back shaking like a chicken. Then this chic came around from nowhere, like some James Bond girl coming out of the water , Hally Berry strut and headed straight for the almost 40ft slide. It was a scene out of a movie. Just as if an enzyme pill had been inserted in the guys around(I thought I was the only one chickening out), I found myself and 5 others guys heading for the slide after she did her session, we had been motivated. The guys went but I came down again using the stairs. The adrenaline level is not to be compared with anything less than skydiver’s. Oh well I summoned courage again, there’s no way I was going back to Lagos without being able to say “I came, I saw, I conq..”
I was next inline, to be sincere I prayed a little prayer to save my soul if anything happens on my way down. I closed my eyes and whoosh!!! It was the best thing that happened to me since plantain
It was time for the swimming competition and I came first, trust me I did this very well even though I was gassed out at the end of the race. I came first among all equals. Guess what the prize was, Popcorn!!!
Through it all, it was a nice time, music and people, tourists and corp-members, young and old, there was something for everyone. The atmosphere was more than electric. By now I was tired and it was getting dark so we decided to leave. I headed home by 8pm. I was so tired I sat down on my hotel bed to watch the last 10minutes of Tottenham Hotspur’s game but I still dint see it to the end. Woke up a few minutes later to catch up on the re-broadcast of CNN’s black-in-america techpreneur camp again but slept off again. The sleep was so heavy CNN reporting live on Whitney Houston's death at that moment felt like a weird dream so I switched off the TV thinking I was going crazy.
The sun rays came bright through the slit of the curtain and I was convinced of the ‘sun’ in ‘Sunday’. It was time to park and head for the airport . It had been a nice place to stay to catch up with life again, no thanks to the 8-5 work I do. I was saying goodbye to the bellhop, the chauffeur, the chef, the hotel, the city , the beautiful atmosphere, the clean environment, the scenery, noiselessness, the state of CROSSRIVER.
And oh, inbetween all that was a visit to University of Calabar, where it fits precisely in this article I m not sure again but trust I would go back there with the next flight if I have the opportunity to do so.
Toodles ! :D
Touch down, Maggie Ekpo airport Calabar. Whatever happened during the 50mins flight, I just wanted to leave it behind. Serendipity went to the toilet when they were booking my ticket so I wasn’t seated in-between chics this time. Just an old Calabar man and an invalid.I Had to play the role of a gentle man, no point being unnecessarily cocky. Since I couldn’t strike any fantastic conversation with them, this mean't I wouldn’t be splitting taxi fare with anyone from the airport. I had to make use of lessons from SC101 (street cred 101): "if you would just walk out of the airport, you would get a cab to your destination at half the price ." For me it went straight from N4000 to N400 having walked with some guys for a mere 20m. It works mostly for domestic flights when you don’t have huge luggage to carry.
On my way out of the airport, I was in the company of 2 ladies who were indigenes and all of a sudden we saw a dog lunging towards us. I thought the ladies were going to melt in fear, as they appear to be crème, prim x proper, only for them to strut away in their jests. So I asked if they weren’t afraid of the wild-dog to which they reply, “this one, we would kill and eat it”. Then it dawned on me where I was.
I must confess though, the air around this area is not of this world. The air was so clean I almost fell ill, it seems my body had been so used to working with extra effort get clean air that it almost lapsed when introduced to clean air, I felt my body working on overdrive for nothing. The whiff from the clean and passing breeze was most soothing, everywhere stayed green like God actually tenders this garden(state) with his fingers. I also do believe this state is the cleanest in Nigeria, atleast that I have visited. I felt like I was going to deflower something or commit an abomination by throwing used recharge card on the ground since I could see almost 50meters radius of me clean with no single paper. It felt like some invisible forces were looking at me.
The ban on use of bikes in this state also made everywhere noiseless. No unnecessary honking could be heard anywhere so everywhere seemed to be in its most peaceful state. Good road also add props to the effect
At the bus stop, I had waited for about 20mins as each driver kept saying they dint know where I was going. I had misplaced a few letters and since everything had to do with “-bong”, I thought they all meant the same thing. Luckily I got one that knew exactly what my description was saying. I hopped in and first thing he says: “My brother, welcome to Sodom and Gomorah!!!”. To this I replied, please I don’t want anything to give me images of Sodomy. He was a nice guy and we talked. He gave me the decription of everything I could need be it church, bank, club, anything, he would be my directory. I noticed a few things though, there were too many hang outs and beer parlours all around while there was scarcity of banks and major industries. This state seems to lack industrial boom, I wonder if major investors see this place as a milk-able environment.
Got to my hotel and being very tired, finished up on some project and slept around 1am
Day 2
Fantastic place I must say, I roused into a very funny weather, everywhere was cold. I decided to go jogging and to my surprise, almost everybody in this state hit the tracks. I tell you , most of the people I met on the road were jogging. Time now was 6:30am thereabout, by now in Lagos, three quarter of the whole state would be in transit, scuffling to get to work. I was more than impressed. I dashed my sprinting more than a Kilometer and ended up in the stadium. Painfully I dint come out with my camera. A lot of men were in the stadium to play soccer before heading to the dressing room and going to their offices. There was this sight that caught my attention, recall how I said it was a cold morning and most joggers were in hoodies? I took a glance at Olympic sized pool of the stadium and therein were soldiers stripping to their swimming trunks. About 120 men from some nearby infantry I believe had come for some drilling. The weather was so cold I was wondering why I came out with no sweater and right there the men of the forces were getting ready to be filed into the pool. Not in this world, not with even a heated pool would I be found bare-chested in that weather, I couldn’t just believe it and to make matters worse, they were delayed for about 30mins, just standing in a queue while wearing just swimming trunks which are usually smaller than regular briefs. That day, my undimmed respect for the force men was refreshed and re-affirmed.
I spent the rest of the day between sleeping and working on my website (Please watch out for ilevit.com ,its gonna be awe-wait for it, wait for it-some, for those who have been looking for virtual libraries and all…shhhh).
The evening wasn’t bad at all. A friend of mine from the social networks came visiting with his friend and we went to Hope Wadell. If a Nigerian producer wants to shoot a war film or story based on 1920s- or 193- something event, this compound would serve the purpose. It is the first secondary school in Nigeria and buildings as old as 1928 can be seen. The church had the oldest pipe organ I ve ever seen it looked like the exhaust of a ship. We headed for the Museum afterward but we were late already so fresh fish and drinks was the next thing.
I retired to bed and made peace with @icyfiery , my latest online villain. Had another life-changing idea that night, I slept off thinking about how to assemble the team to work with. I was afraid of my own future that night.
The morning after wasn’t bad at all, by now I was running up bill so I needed to be careful. I had peppersoup that day, it was real peppersoup, the one I had been having in Lagos were just pepper inside soup. I also visited Marina resort, my favourite spot there was Tortuga.
Ofcourse, it totally resembled the location in The curse of the Black pearl. Totally loved the serenity of that place. So quiet the whiff from the breeze was all the noise you could hear. If your wristwatch came close to your ears, you could hear the seconds hand’s kinetics. Great spot, ocean view, trees and everything 60m below earth level. An event was to take place later that evening, it was the late Bob Marley’s birthday and some people were putting up a party, it was going to be a wild night but hey, I had my own plans.
I was running up on hotel bills so when a friend asked to show me around their clubs, I thought oh great!, a good reason to skip a night at the hotel and save some money so I went with him.
The groove was on, a few sparks here and there, some sort of old school night and a lot of people showing up moves, moon-walker and running-man everywhere, I danced for a while myself, the last time I tried old school dance like that must have been motivated by money or some prize way back in secondary school but it was great. A funny thing happened afterwards, I had barely satdown to get some oxygen after dancing when I was ushered to a VIP table with a Senator or Member of the House, not really sure again, I really dint understand what was going on, just felt he liked a few moves from the dancefloor and he just wanted to talk. Most of his friends were dancing with their ladies by now and he was asking me questions ‘bout everything from whom I was to whom I worked for, hobbies and interest and all sorts. By now you could smell the effing and blinding going on in my head from under my breath. He proceeds to dance with me which I obliged him considering he was already halfway binged and inebriated. It wouldn’t matter but then he came closer and whispered in my ear “I want to embarrass you”. If that was coming from a sane man in a king-like position, it would have meant I was made already. I had just been cabal-ized and about to become a successful and wealthyfellow,but it wasn’t coming that way. By now he was too close for comfort and his hands were starting to project in some awkward positions. I couldn’t hide my uneasiness, I had to look for a get-away plan.
I grabbed my Redbull by the table and feigned the famous phone-ringing move to lam away. I went outside and stayed on an imaginary call for about 50minutes ..lol! By now, my friend was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t go back to the hotel since I checked out, looked at the time, it was around 2am.
Back in the club, I made my way through the back couches and went for the hidden corner of the place stealthily. I wasn’t going to be caught in that web, by now his eyes were glued to an iPad on his VIP table, watching an adult movie. I answered a few mails on my blackberry and put down a few points for next article and all, by 2:30am, I could barely take it anymore, left a BB message for my friend and headed back to the hotel. Recall, I had checked out earlier, but tipping had saved me again so I was allowed to sleep on the couch Oh well, the perks of travelling alone, if I had come with ‘’entourage’’, it would have been another story.
Two hours after, I was up, I can now check in again, that way, I had skipped a night, so I ended up doing 3 nights in the hotel instead of 4. Don’t you love my street ways(besides the fact that I could have been sodomized )
So its Saturday, Tinapa it is!!!. Called up another programmer friend of mine @kehers and made plans to hook up at Tinapa. It was Valentine weekend so some couples were around, oh well, I was happy for them, except for the fact each of the guys’ moves were being checkmated by their partners. I was as free as anything, I was getting chic-phonenumbers per minute. I checked out the Tmart, this supermarket was my ideal definition of anti-chauvinism. In about 80% of the place were items strictly for ladies from cradle to the grave and just by a little corner at the entrance were a couple of shelves for the male gender. Not like I was even interested as most of their items were quite old and dust laden.
I took a few pictures and headed straight to the water parks. Oh gosh!!! You have to be here. Right there was the biggest swimming pool I had seen in my life! It was so big, there were about 25 people inside and it wasn’t even half-crowded yet. Good music and barbecue by the side, there was a Cable ride for those interested and then there was the Adrenaline jump stuff. This stuff is no joke. It isn’t for the chicken hearted. I went up the stairs the first time to take the slide but I came back shaking like a chicken. Then this chic came around from nowhere, like some James Bond girl coming out of the water , Hally Berry strut and headed straight for the almost 40ft slide. It was a scene out of a movie. Just as if an enzyme pill had been inserted in the guys around(I thought I was the only one chickening out), I found myself and 5 others guys heading for the slide after she did her session, we had been motivated. The guys went but I came down again using the stairs. The adrenaline level is not to be compared with anything less than skydiver’s. Oh well I summoned courage again, there’s no way I was going back to Lagos without being able to say “I came, I saw, I conq..”
I was next inline, to be sincere I prayed a little prayer to save my soul if anything happens on my way down. I closed my eyes and whoosh!!! It was the best thing that happened to me since plantain
It was time for the swimming competition and I came first, trust me I did this very well even though I was gassed out at the end of the race. I came first among all equals. Guess what the prize was, Popcorn!!!
Through it all, it was a nice time, music and people, tourists and corp-members, young and old, there was something for everyone. The atmosphere was more than electric. By now I was tired and it was getting dark so we decided to leave. I headed home by 8pm. I was so tired I sat down on my hotel bed to watch the last 10minutes of Tottenham Hotspur’s game but I still dint see it to the end. Woke up a few minutes later to catch up on the re-broadcast of CNN’s black-in-america techpreneur camp again but slept off again. The sleep was so heavy CNN reporting live on Whitney Houston's death at that moment felt like a weird dream so I switched off the TV thinking I was going crazy.
The sun rays came bright through the slit of the curtain and I was convinced of the ‘sun’ in ‘Sunday’. It was time to park and head for the airport . It had been a nice place to stay to catch up with life again, no thanks to the 8-5 work I do. I was saying goodbye to the bellhop, the chauffeur, the chef, the hotel, the city , the beautiful atmosphere, the clean environment, the scenery, noiselessness, the state of CROSSRIVER.
And oh, inbetween all that was a visit to University of Calabar, where it fits precisely in this article I m not sure again but trust I would go back there with the next flight if I have the opportunity to do so.
Toodles ! :D
My goodness! I would never have known a lot of things about Calabar but for your account here. It's so different from Lagos like you pointed out. I hope I can visit someday.
ReplyDeletelol! Oh yes.. You should be there..and there are so many places I couldnot even visit .
ReplyDeleteOkays, so you had so much fun and left me out abi? Wait till I catch you.
ReplyDeleteI like your vivid description, I could visualize it all in my mind's eye.
Kinda disappointed though that you didn't eat the Dog-meat since you were in the Dog-land. I'm secretly hoping the peppersoup you had was Dog-meat. Buhahahahahaha.
Much Love from your Younger Sister.
Hahahaha! go away. Is there any rule that says one shouldnt eat dog-meat? wait what is dog-meat called? Ok.. back to the story, dont worry, we will all have a group trip soon :). love U too bbs
ReplyDelete